Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
