I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
