just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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