My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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