What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
