and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
