his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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