forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
