Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize