so that wasnt chicken after all
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
