I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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