it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize