I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
