did you get engaged???
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
