i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
cat food counts as protein by the way
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Boobs speak an international language.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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