Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
