also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
