Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
