You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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