I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize