'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
