She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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