I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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