Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
