I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
