Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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