Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
did you just send me my own nude
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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