Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
