I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
