Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
