Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
