I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
