i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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