Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
