I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
third nipple confirmed
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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