i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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