Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
