please come you make the beer taste better
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
