Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
