Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
