As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Randomize
