the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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