I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
