Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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