i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
