please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
