And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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