worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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