Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
