just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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