i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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