I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
