That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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