her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
