found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
