on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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