just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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