I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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