Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
