she smelled like a LAN party
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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