That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
