put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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