fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
