I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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