he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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