There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize