its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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