I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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