I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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