need another drink. this is the easiest way
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
