There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
