im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
