We won't sleep together?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
