I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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