I think i sorta joined a cult last night
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
