You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
