It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he thought i was a dude.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
